from the head to the heart

“The Longest Journey you will ever take is from your Head to your Heart” - Thich Nhat Hanh

I love this quote by Thich Nhat Hanh. But perhaps, the journey doesn’t have to be that long. In-fact, sometimes it can be a short journey that only takes a few breaths or a good friend who can guide us home back into our hearts.

In addition to it being a journey from the head to the heart, it is also a journey between the ego (which is part of the mind) and the soul (which rests in the heart). I often perceive it as a pendulum because it can swing back and forth rapidly. The ego causes us so much suffering. It is the part of the mind that has thoughts and beliefs related to judgement, shame, victimhood, and other lower vibrational energies. When we get lost in the ego, the soul can indeed feel a million miles away. But it’s always closer than we think. It’s so close in-fact, that it’s always actually ‘right here’!

You see, the soul never goes anywhere. It patiently waits for the ego to settle back down and rest quietly within itself. In the same way that waves rise and then fall back into the ocean, the ego rises and then falls back into the soul. But the mind is mean to be a tool for the soul. When we think kind, caring, loving thoughts about ourselves and others, or are guided to engage in purposeful work that is in service to others, the mind is serving its highest purpose. But when triggered by external circumstances into its ‘egoic nature’, we distance ourselves from the soul. Such is also the case when we try to manipulate others for the purpose of maintaining the feeling of being powerful and in control.

So how can we experience ‘less ego’ and ‘more soul’? The first step is to notice. When we meditate, that’s exactly what we are doing. We are noticing something. When we are suffering at the hand of the ego, we can notice the ego at work. We can step back and see it for what is, an unruly child. Then, we can patiently watch the ego begin to settle down in meditation. Yelling at the ego won’t work. Nor will willing it to go away, trying to push it away, or vilifying it as something that shouldn’t exist. But through the simple observing of the breath or the repetition of a mantra, the ego naturally settles down a little bit. It begins to retreat back towards it’s origin, the soul.

With a little more quiet, we can then hear the whisper of the soul. It can come through an inner-voice that is gentler than the ego, as a vision, or as just a feeling. The soul will almost always have a message for us. It is always aware of the lessons that are meant to be learned through every life experience. Once the soul has space to reveal itself, the ego is likely to quiet down even more until it retreats fully into the soul where it can quietly rest. Through daily spiritual practice and deep inner-work, over time, the ego can even dissolve in the heart of awareness of the soul until there is only a trace of it left. This is the path the masters take.

But for most of us, the goal is to simply have a healthier relationship with the ego. To notice it. To see it for what it is. To learn skills that can help us to quiet it down before it gets even more out of control, before the stronger emotions come thrashing around with it. Meditation and other mindfulness practices are our greatest ally when it comes to meeting these moments with as much grace and ease that’s possible.

You can begin that practice right now. You can stop, close your eyes, and notice your breath or repeat a mantra. Do it everyday and you’ll see that when the ego flares up, it will settle down again a lot more quickly. It will have less control of you. And slowly, you’ll start to drop even deeper in the heart-soul like all the great masters have done. This is the sacred space where orginal love exists. It is the love of God that is present within you. It is the cosmic, expansive, eternal love that radiates outwards from the core of your being encompassing everything and everyone.

deepening your meditation practice

Shortly after that first channeling group, Sitting Bull came to me in a dream and said “it’s time for you to start meditating”

In my early 20’s, I attended my first channeling group. I was a college senior at the time. Looking back, it probably wasn’t an ordinary occurrence for someone my age to be attending channeling groups. Most people my age were out partying with their college buddies. I did that sometimes too. But I never felt comfortable in that scene. I was different. At the time, I desperately wanted to fit in with the crowd. But now, almost thirty years later, I’m grateful that I didn’t. If I were comfortable doing what most people did, I never would’ve had the impetus to turn inwards and look for spirit.

During that first channeling group, I was introduced to a few of my spirit guides. One was a Native American warrior, Sitting Bull. At the time, I was depressed over a relationship that wasn’t going my way. Sitting Bull told me not to worry because there would be more relationships to come. At the time, I didn’t believe him. I was a man in misery, convinced that Beth (pseudonym) was ‘the one’ and that life wouldn’t be worth living without her! I did get over Beth. But it took a while. And to this day, I’m still holding out hope that maybe, just maybe, I’ll get that Schwinn bike I loaned her back. A few months after we broke up, she sped by me at 60mph on that bike on her way to class. I yelled out “Beth, that’s my bike!” She kept going. If anyone sees Beth and my purple Schwinn, please let me know! ;-)

Shortly after that first channeling group, Sitting Bull came to me in a dream and said “it’s time for you to start meditating”. So one night, when my college buddies went out to the local bar, I stayed home to meditate. All I knew about meditation at the time was that I was supposed to close my eyes, be still, and not think. So I closed my eyes, attempted to be still, and tried not to think. I was able to complete stage one quite well. But staying still and not thinking were much harder than expected. I think that meditation lasted about five minutes. After that, I likely turned on the television or wrote a sad love song about Beth. I forget which.

On a side note, I now know that the goal of meditation is not to not think! That is the biggest misunderstanding of meditation. In the beginning stages of meditation, we simply do our best to notice our thoughts. It’s natural that we’re going to have thoughts. And to try to stop them, can be quite futile.

It would be many years before I tried to meditate again. And it would be many years after that until I would develop a daily practice that is now the bedrock of my existance. Every morning when I get up, I go right from my bed to my meditation chair and sit. Sometimes for just twenty or thirty minutes, but more often, for closer to an hour or longer. Apparently, the Dalai Lama sits for three to four hours a day beginning at 3:30am. So compared to him, an hour isn’t much. And to be quite frank, at 3:30am, the only thing I’m doing is sleeping. But I’m quite content with my practice these days.

A couple of years ago, I was reading a passage from the great yogi Paramahansa Yogananda. He suggested that once a week, we meditators devote a six hour time period for meditation. For those with a short daily practice, and a long to do list, the thought of a six hour meditation day can be quite overwhelming. But for me, it felt good the moment I read it. It was my original intention to schedule them into my calendar on a weekly basis so that I’d be disciplined about it. That didn’t work too well. There was always something that came up to get in the way of it. But today, spontaneously, as it often happens these days, I sat in meditation for close to six hours. I don’t share this with you to show off or to receive your praise. But rather to inspire on the path.

For me, meditation has been the greatest gift I’ve received in life. I say "‘received’ because I consider meditation to be a gift from God. Think about this for a moment: The creator, out of the great love he-she has for us, has given us a practice that allows us to still our minds, heal the body, open the heart, and to awaken to his-her presence within ourselves and around ourselves. When I think about that, I feel appreciation for God and that appreciation draws me even closer to him-her. I hope it does for you as well.

During a longer sit, something magical happens that doesn’t happen in the shorter sits. There is a purification of the mind that occurs. You see, regardless as to where the physical body is in space and time, most of us aren’t truly free in the present moment. We’ve had experiences that have created deep seated beliefs about ourselves and others that keep us bound to the past. Bound to the past, we can’t truly be open to the inherent freedom that can be found in the present moment. During purification, memories are stirred up from the subconscious to be observed for healing and release. Those memories might appear as an image from the past or even a clairaudient message about the situation.

For example, today in my sit I heard “you didn’t do anything wrong”. This message was referring to a deep seated belief I had about how I acted in a particular relationship over two years ago. Imagine that! For two years, I had been carrying around a belief that just wasn’t true. Freed from that misbelief, I now experience more freedom in the present moment. Freedom is what we seek as meditators. Freedom from the past, freedom from the future, freedom from unhealthy attachments, and ultimately, freedom from body consciousness. In freedom, we can enjoy life as it, as it unfolds moment to moment, without being bound to it, and without impressing past experience or future expectations onto a moment that is otherwise pure.